Kitchen Pleasures....a pretzel recipe.....

While it was, in fact, 78 degrees outside and I really wanted to go out biking, the 20 mile an hour wind gusts prevented me from doing so.  And if I couldn't go biking, no WAY was I going to mow the lawn.  Given my refusal to participate in activities that would otherwise mess up my hair, there was only one thing left to do.

BAKE.

So, my brother in law is in love with these pretzel rolls brought to him from Milwaukee by my sister's best friend Amy.  If you followed that line of reasoning, you are likely smarter than 98% of the population.  Bottom line: Amy got him hooked.  Every time she comes to Chicago, she now has to bring my brother in law 2 or 3 bags of these delicious little delicacies.  And last time, he gave me one.  It was like crack.  I have spent countless hours, perhaps days attempting to reproduce these little gems to no avail.

UNTIL TODAY.

At approximately 12:56, I bit into the hottest, most delicious thing that has ever crossed my lips.  I am not a big sweet eater, but I can tell you my previous high weight of 260.8 was directly caused by bread products. Had I found these rolls earlier, I'm most certain I would have topped 300.

In any case, this is a simple recipe.  Easier than I thought. I used a combination of several different recipes I found on the internet, plus a few little add-ins.

Ingredients:
1 cup warm water (36.5 to 40.5 degrees C)
1 pkg active dry yeast
3 cups BREAD flour
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1/4 cup baking soda
pot 'o' boiling water

1. In a small bowl, mix sugar and yeast with 1/2 cup of the warm water until dissolved.  Let it sit and puff up for 5 minutes.  This really isn't necessary.  it's just cool and smells delicious.  The kids think it's neat and it proves the yeast is still good.  So do it.

2. In a bowl. mix the flour (MAKE SURE ITS BREAD FLOUR!!!!) and the kosher salt.  No, regular salt won't work.  The grains are too big. trust me on this (um....yeah.....)

3. Once the yeast is puffy, dump it and the other 1/2 cup of water into the bowl with the flour and stir.  Honestly, I do this in my KitchenAid with my bread hook. Don't kill yourself. Once it has formed into a nice ball, pull it out and knead it on a floured surface until it is smooth.

4. Put a tbsp of oil in a glass bowl and coat the ball in oil.  Let sit until doubled, about 30-40 minutes.

5. Punch it down and immediately cut into 8 equal pieces. Roll each of those pieces into a smooth little ball and place on a parchment-paper lined cookie sheet. Cut a little "x" in the top of each one.  Let them sit for about 15 minutes or until they have doubled in size.

6.  During that 15 minutes, boil water (I didn't really measure, but about 8-10 cups Im guessing) and add 1/4 cup baking soda to it.  It will fuzz up.  Don't freak out.  It's supposed to. Preheat oven to 400.

7. Without squishing them, drop your rolls two at a time into the rolling boil and boil each side for 20-30 seconds.  Remove with a slotted spoon, let drip a second, and then place back on the parchment paper. Sprinkle the top with as much kosher salt as you'd like.

They will be a little "gooey", but they should look like this.

8.  Place the cookie sheet in a 400-degree preheated oven and bake for 10 minutes, until they are a nice dark brown.  Don't overcook or they will become chew toys for your new puppy.

9.  Take the rolls and hide them somewhere your family will never look.  Like the dryer.  Or the linen closet. Enjoy whenever you need a little break.  DO NOT SHARE with children.  They will not appreciate the deliciousness that comes from making your own bread.

My mother hides her little yummies in the top drawer of my dad's dresser.  She thinks we don't know.

HA HA HA.

Enjoy!!!