Kitchen Pleasures....a pretzel recipe.....

While it was, in fact, 78 degrees outside and I really wanted to go out biking, the 20 mile an hour wind gusts prevented me from doing so.  And if I couldn't go biking, no WAY was I going to mow the lawn.  Given my refusal to participate in activities that would otherwise mess up my hair, there was only one thing left to do.

BAKE.

So, my brother in law is in love with these pretzel rolls brought to him from Milwaukee by my sister's best friend Amy.  If you followed that line of reasoning, you are likely smarter than 98% of the population.  Bottom line: Amy got him hooked.  Every time she comes to Chicago, she now has to bring my brother in law 2 or 3 bags of these delicious little delicacies.  And last time, he gave me one.  It was like crack.  I have spent countless hours, perhaps days attempting to reproduce these little gems to no avail.

UNTIL TODAY.

At approximately 12:56, I bit into the hottest, most delicious thing that has ever crossed my lips.  I am not a big sweet eater, but I can tell you my previous high weight of 260.8 was directly caused by bread products. Had I found these rolls earlier, I'm most certain I would have topped 300.

In any case, this is a simple recipe.  Easier than I thought. I used a combination of several different recipes I found on the internet, plus a few little add-ins.

Ingredients:
1 cup warm water (36.5 to 40.5 degrees C)
1 pkg active dry yeast
3 cups BREAD flour
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1/4 cup baking soda
pot 'o' boiling water

1. In a small bowl, mix sugar and yeast with 1/2 cup of the warm water until dissolved.  Let it sit and puff up for 5 minutes.  This really isn't necessary.  it's just cool and smells delicious.  The kids think it's neat and it proves the yeast is still good.  So do it.

2. In a bowl. mix the flour (MAKE SURE ITS BREAD FLOUR!!!!) and the kosher salt.  No, regular salt won't work.  The grains are too big. trust me on this (um....yeah.....)

3. Once the yeast is puffy, dump it and the other 1/2 cup of water into the bowl with the flour and stir.  Honestly, I do this in my KitchenAid with my bread hook. Don't kill yourself. Once it has formed into a nice ball, pull it out and knead it on a floured surface until it is smooth.

4. Put a tbsp of oil in a glass bowl and coat the ball in oil.  Let sit until doubled, about 30-40 minutes.

5. Punch it down and immediately cut into 8 equal pieces. Roll each of those pieces into a smooth little ball and place on a parchment-paper lined cookie sheet. Cut a little "x" in the top of each one.  Let them sit for about 15 minutes or until they have doubled in size.

6.  During that 15 minutes, boil water (I didn't really measure, but about 8-10 cups Im guessing) and add 1/4 cup baking soda to it.  It will fuzz up.  Don't freak out.  It's supposed to. Preheat oven to 400.

7. Without squishing them, drop your rolls two at a time into the rolling boil and boil each side for 20-30 seconds.  Remove with a slotted spoon, let drip a second, and then place back on the parchment paper. Sprinkle the top with as much kosher salt as you'd like.

They will be a little "gooey", but they should look like this.

8.  Place the cookie sheet in a 400-degree preheated oven and bake for 10 minutes, until they are a nice dark brown.  Don't overcook or they will become chew toys for your new puppy.

9.  Take the rolls and hide them somewhere your family will never look.  Like the dryer.  Or the linen closet. Enjoy whenever you need a little break.  DO NOT SHARE with children.  They will not appreciate the deliciousness that comes from making your own bread.

My mother hides her little yummies in the top drawer of my dad's dresser.  She thinks we don't know.

HA HA HA.

Enjoy!!!

Adventures in Garage Saling.....

I HATE GARAGE SALES.

I love going to them.  Getting wierd stuff at ridiculously cheap prices.  But there are several things wrong with garage sales.

First of all, you open your entire life to strangers who pass judgement on you by what you have out. 
I love when people have enormous tables of kitchen gadgets.  But I would be lying if I didn't secretly wonder if they threw their hands up in exasperation and yelled "that's it!!! I'm DONE!!!" and are going to refuse to cook for the remainder of their years here.  Why would someone sell a whisk?  Have eggs become the enemy?  Or a pair of tongs.  Certainly there are still things that need picking up. 

Or clothes. The 86 year old grandma who has her depression glass for sale is also getting rid of the lacy black nightgown from Victoria's secret.  Or the miniskirts. And go-go boots.  Now maybe she went to a kickin' Halloween party, but I do not want to think of my elderly neighbor playing dressup.  And she is a widow.  Who is she dressing up for?  Do I want to know?  No.  Add this to the to-do list: change running route not to include neighbor's house.  DONT want to know.

Prices are ridiculous at some of these sales.
Ok, so I tend to live in what might consider an "up-scale" neighborhood.  It is the "old money" part of town. This, however, does NOT mean, dear neighbors, that your items do not depreciate in value and slower than every else's.  It may be true that your faces and bodies have not aged a bit (thanks to botox and surgery), but your toaster has.  It is NOT worth $10.  I can go to Walmart and get a brand, spanking-new toaster that is electronic and sears a Blackhawks logo in it for $10.  And then when you say, "we're been having a little trouble with it catching on fire lately, you close the deal.  Not buying it.

Or your long sleeve t-shirt that your kid got free from their high school.  Not worth $5. Or the "WINE: How classy people get drunk" sign for $10.  Or your SOCKS, for $2 a pair (really, I am not making this up). And try to negotiate with these people and they get angry with you.  PEOPLE. It's your USED JUNK.  You don't want it in your house, why would I????

Garage sales are awkward.
I think some people who have garage sales are just really lonely.  It is a way to draw in some new friends to tell your recycled stories to who haven't, in fact, heard them before.  They follow you around with a story about every item you pick up.  Show an interest in a kid's coat and you'll get to hear the tale about how Aunt Grace bought that coat for little Bethany after saving her money all summer, giving up ice cream and deodoerant so that he daughter was warm in the dead cold of winter.  And how little Bethany would sleep in the coat because she loved it so much.  If you have stories and can't part with it, DON'T PUT IT OUT.  I am buying it for my cat to sleep on, ok?

And then there is the "sneak".  You garage-salers know what I am talking about.  When you get to the sale, and they have 50 million things, not one of which you 'need', and you are forced to seek and exit, whether it is actually through a rhodedenron bush or over a six foot privacy fence. You shirk away from the owner, knowing she is going to give you the biggest smile and say "thank you", when, in fact, she is cursing you and calling you a snob inside your head.  Run, don't walk, RUN.  The water from the sprinkler you fled through will dry by the time you get to the next sale.


SO, knowing this, I had a garage sale.  Remember, I was in "clean the house for the first time in 10 years" mode?  I had everything on the driveway.  Of course I will say it was "good stuff". Because it was mine.  But I know better.  Only a certain kind of person is going to want a cake pan in the shape of Pooh Bear. Or several model rockets. Or the dress I wore for my senior pictures (yellow, sailor dress from Laura Ashley.  Yes, I still had it).  So I did the only honest thing. 

I 'fessed up.  I had saved all my garden work for the weekend of my sale so I had soemthing to do and there was no pressure.  And I admitted that I just wanted it out. And I priced it to sell.  Everything was $2 or less.

When people approached, I told them this wasn't really a garage sale, but I was "gardening with all my stuff out".  If they happened to see something that they needed, it was priced to sell, but that everything was negotiable.  Buy a lot of stuff and I'll probably cut you a deal. And I did. 

At the end of the sale, another at-home mom (of three girls, ages 1,3 and 5) asked "is it true that after three, all the clothes I can fit in a plastic grocery bag is $1?  I said "yep".  She proceeded to stuff five bags full of clothes, even though some of them were going to be big on her girls for a couple of years.  She was so excited that I added a bonus...with five bags of clothes purchased, she got a free Little Mermaid bike. Another big item out of my garage.  I have never beenso happy.

Because more than half of my crap was GONE.

At 5pm Saturday, my husband opened the back latch of the Suburban and everything left went to Goodwill, itemized for tax purposes.  The leftover books went to Half-Price books where I got the whopping SEVEN DOLLARS.

Which I then spent on a new book.  That will, eventually, end up, in my next garage sale :)

Improve your home, improve the world :)

I got a call from my best friend from KINDERGARTEN last week.  She couldn't believe that I was an at-home mom and asked "how are you adjusting"?  I hadn't really thought about it. I thought of her story: she went to college, then law school, then got married, and moved.  TO GERMANY.

She was thrown into a culture she didn't know, speaking a language that she didn't understand.  I remember one of her early posts was about how she broke down crying in the grocery store because she couldn't explain that she wanted to buy a pound of ham.  On top of that, her husband, a doctor, didn't expect her to work- and it wasn't easy to figure out her expectations as a wife, and eventually a mother.

"I'm sure you feel useless", she said, "it's wierd having to rely on someone else for money".  I hadn't really thought about that, even as my own checking account began to dwindle.  I've made some good investments which I can pull from if needed, but it's true.  Suddenly, I am not bringing in money to the family.  What am I really worth?

But then it dawned on me.  Yesterday.  While biking.  For the first time since I was 16 years old, I didn't have a job.  I didn't have to life by someone else's schedule.  DIdn't have to answer to anyone else.  I could go ride my bike for 3 hours and no one would comment about "wasting time".  It's the first time in my life I have done something EXCLUSIVELY FOR ME.

And what are the results of my unemployment?  Well, my daughter, who has had issues with depression and anxiety for years, has dramatically improved when she has a mom who is home and wraps her arms around her and tells her everything is going to be okay.  Who makes her lunch at 11:15 everyday and sits down and chats with her about how her day is going.  My shy daughter has gotten a job and has gained confidence in herself.

My children have a safe haven where their friends are not only welcome, but would prefer to be.  The other night, one of my son's friends, who wants for nothing, was eating dinner at our house and said "I love your house.  I wish I lived here."  I'm not sure there is a better compliment. I told her she felt that way because there was always something going on and someone to play with....not the case at her house.  Of course then my son piped up and said "I like your house bettter.  because it's QUIET"!!! The grass is always greener.

But honestly.  I am a better person. I love my kids more without the distractions that I had while I was working.  I have more time to clean the house the way I want it done and don't have to yell at the kids to hurry to do it on weekends. I make lunches and dinners.  The kids are eating healthier, and their sleeping schedules are set.  They are happier and seem to get along better.  My husband's self confidence, being the "provider", has skyrocketed.  My son who had been previously identified by the school district as "overweight" has lost 4 pounds between diet and exercise in 4 weeks.  My other son ,who struggles in reading has shown improvement already this year.

On 9/11 when we are looking at "what difference we can make", the most important difference we can make is in our own home. 

Father knows Best

Well....maybe about electrical outlets and things like septic systems and cleanng up water in the basement after the window wells fill up during one of the ridiculous storms we've had this summer. Not a drop of rain the entire month of June, then a downpour which floods everything and sends the storm sewers overflowing the streets. Thank God we have a dry-vac.  But anyway.

I am apparently spending too much on groceries.

This was the allegation I was charged with early last week. Regardless of how you feel about corporations, I shop at Walmart.  Ok, hate me now.  Tell me about workers who don't get overtime and are not privy to health care benefits.  I'm sorry that I am not big hearted.  I am unemployed.  I care about the price of eggs and the fact that I can get cat food, paint and a good corn beef roast under one roof.  Not to mention it is next door to Sam's, where I can save 6 cents a gallon on gas.  I drive a suburban.  I'd house known terrorists if it meant saving a quarter on gas.

"You don't use coupons.  You don't comparison shop." 

So, on a beautiful Saturday, I found myself asking my husband if he wanted to join me grocery shopping.  Mind you, we have a two week meal cycle, with input from the children, so we know what we will be purchasing.  Everyone eats home lunch, and I cook breakfast every morning. So our meals are all made with that special ingredient, love. He looks over the list of what we need, and then begins to plan our route.

"We'll get meat at Fareway, they have the best prices".  I glance at the advertisement.....and see that their 85/15 ground beef if 50 cents more than the HyVee, which has it on special for $1.99/pound. But, there is a limit of 6.  He can buy 6, I'll buy 6.  We scratch Fareway from the list.  He used to work there in high school, so he thinks it is the end all and be all of grocery stores.  What he doesn't realize is that they have a very limited range of items.

So we start at the classic generic store, Aldi.  As we approach, I pull out a quarter.  For the cart.  That's right; you have to pay for the cart.  Don't worry, you get it back when you return the cart. As we roam through the store, he realizes that the size of the store and variety of the products does not allow for one-stop shopping. We cross out 18 of our items.  $35.

Now we head to his next "cheapie" store, Sav-A-Lot.  This is a little more brand conscious, but again, their product line is limited.  They had great deals on some things- like A1 steak sauce- and soon I had a purse full of the coupons they were giving away for A1.  I am not certain a family could eat as much A1 steak sauce as he purchased. Another $25 down and 16 items off the list.

Finally we went to Walmart, where, in 40 minutes, I whipped through the store and got everything else on my list in record time and the exact brands I wanted.  I also brought along the HyVee flyer so that I could get the 99 cent per pound grapes as opposed to the $1.99 they were charging. After going through the line and ringing up an additional $180 in groceries, I handed the clerk the advertisement- and she matched all the prices in the circular.

"What's that?" he asked.

"That's what I do", I stated, "I bring all the ads and I have them match the prices so that I get the lowest prices."  THAT WAY I DONT HAVE TO DRIVE FROM STORE TO STORE.  After spending nearly three hours driving around to get the best prices, my husband finally realized that I was not overspending on groceries, but instead, was pretty darn frugal with the food budget. Again, no hating here about Walmart.  Im sorry.  We're on a budget.  I'd like to say I am more politically saavy and shop locally at the farmer's market, but I am here to save a few bucks.

$250 for two weeks of groceries for six people.  That comes down to $17.85 a day. $3 a person per day!  ONE DOLLAR A MEAL! Ok, ok.  So breakfast is significantly less than the other two, but I think I am doing a pretty decent job keeping the budget low.  No, we are not eating cereal every meal, but I make enough for dinner so there are leftovers for lunch.  My kids' friends are a little jealous of the tacos and meatball sandwiches they get in their lunchboxes...especially on the homemade frenchbread.

My daughter came home from high school today for lunch.  I asked what she was doing home and she said "tonight it spaghetti night.  So I knew you'd have bread made by noon.  Why would I stay at school and eat there when I can come home to a sandwich on fresh bread, green peppers from the garden, and brownies you made last night?"

Healthier food.  Less money. Happier kids.

This is a win-win situation. 

Ugly but Delicious- A bagel recipe

No, this isn't what people say about me.  Well, maybe they do, but that's a little wierd.  My son kissed my shoulder today after I had biked 20 miles with him and ran an additional three and said "you taste salty, Mom".  Like I said, a little wierd.

So today I lost my cookie press.  I am sure that I had one.  I bought it at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  I think it must have been under the "beyond" section because I can't imagine using a cookie press in bed or in the bathroom.  In fact, it seems rather gross.  But what was even worse was where I found me cookie press.  It was in my husband's workshop.  Apparently, my kids thought it was a caulking gun and put it there.  Worse yet, there was caulk on it.  So.  Looks like I will be getting a new cookie press tomorrow.  But not until after I make the butter cookies I already mixed up tonight. 

In any case. You might be asking yourself "what is ugly but delicious?" well, the answer, my friends, is bagels.

I am struggling with this bagel recipe.  They are so incredibly good, but I just can't get them to look pretty. Try them yourself, they are fantastic, and rather easy to make.  But I hope yours are prettier than mine....

2 1/2 tsp active dry yeast
1 1/2 tsp sugar
1 1/2 cups of warm water
3 1/2 cups bread flour
1 tsp salt

Yeah, I know, right?  Seems too easy?!  How does Bruegger's get away with charging $1.50 for these simple rolls?  I don't know, because once you make them, you will never buy them again.

1.  Put the sugar and yeast in a bowl.  Pour 1/2 cup of warm water, stir until dissolved.  Leave alone for five minutes. 

2. Put flour and salt into your mixer with the dough hook on.  Mix. Slowly add the yeast mixture in and set mixer on "stir".

3. Pour 1/2 cup of warm water in.  When that is mixed in, add the remaining 1/2 cup.  Mix until it is a firm, stiff dough.  If it is still sticky, add a little more flour.

4. knead the dough for about 10 minutes, whether by hand or in your mixer. oil a bowl and turn your dough in it until coated.  let it sit for about an hour or until it has doubled in size.

5. Punch your dough down, let it rest for about 10 minutes.

6. Divide dough into 12 pieces.  You can cut it into 8 if you want the big, bakery style bagels, but I have little kids and find they are just too big.  12 is perfect. rolls them into neat little balls as smoothly as possible.

7. stick your finger through the middle and stretch the hols to about an inch.  try not to destroy the rest of the dough ball (see "ugly, but delicous" above),  set them aside on a cookie sheet and let them rise for about 10 minutes. 

8.  In the meantime, boil water on your stove (I throw a little sea salt in it.....some recipes say to put a cut up potato in it to get additional starch, but I have found this to not be detrimental in any way, nor have any type of effect I can figure out) and preheat your oven to 425.

9.  Set your bagels in the boiling water for 1 minute on each side, then pull out with a slotted spoon and set on a slightly greased cookie sheet. Bake for 18-20 minutes until brown.

10.  It should be pointed out that if you are making bagels to use for sandwiches, I have had success rolling the whole mass of dough into a "loaf" shape, then cut flat sections off, putting a hole in the middle.  This makes a flatter bagel, but wider, and is more "sandwich-like".  My kids like it better, too.


In any case, my bagels are ugly.  I don't know why.  And as far as the butter cookies go....well, the kids ate all the dough.....while I was searching for the cookie press......

At least the bagels are delicious.