The new "normal"

A new "normal" has taken over.  It's called "exhausted".  How the hell did I work full time and keep this house running?  Well, I didn't, as evidenced by the unearthing of a broken (shattered, really) fishtank we haven't used in 8 years, but for some reason was keeping 'just in case' in the kid's bathroom.

???????????????

Yeah.

At 5:45 each morning I am awakened by my 13 year old's phone alarm going off.  No, he is not sleeping in my bed, but he sets the volume one level shy of "air raid bomb alert" or else he sleeps through it.  This forces me to get up and shut it off.  So instead, I go to his room at 5:46 and peel him off the ceiling, THEN turn off his alarm.  He gets dressed and heads downstairs for breakfast.  Usually I get a text, at about 5:55, asking me to "please come downstairs and make breakfast".  Really?  How hard get ripping open the NutraGrain bar really be?  I oblige, and usually end up making some steak-egg-potato burrito thing that he immediately tells me "doesn't taste like McDonalds".  Yep.  I'm lovin it.

At 6, the new driver rolls out of bed.  And I mean rolls.  She generally drops everything she picks up at least once, waking her sister before finally making it into the shower.  She generally leaves the door open, so the rest of the house can enjoy the sound of the shower and the song-stylings of Japanese pop songs, which sound eerily like the cat has gotten trapped in the laundry chute (again). She dons an interesting tshirt....Zelda..."talk nerdy to me"...."will work for books"....and skinny jeans and black boots.  (Interesting thing about skinny jeans....I'm not skinny, but they make them in my size.  Should I be happy or sad about this???)  Luckily, she gets her own breakfast and heads to school in the mini-van. Maybe I can go back to bed.

No such luck. At 7, the husband rolls over and says "is there coffee this morning?  And maybe one of those steak-egg-potato things?" and I'm up again.  After feeding the beast, I hop in the oversized gas guzzler and begin "the route".  One 8th grader is already waiting in my kitchen.  I pick up another, as well as a 9th grader, and head to the high school.  Drop off the 9th grader, pick up 3 more 8th graders, including my own, and drive them to middle school.  Oh- and grab the football coach's 6th grader as well...so....that's seven kids in the car.  thank God they all take showers after weight lifting at 630 in the morning, or the car would smell HORRID.  Oh wait, that's later after FOOTBALL practice....

After dropping them off, I get home at 8, just in time for the 6 and 10 year old to roll out of bed and ask "what's for breakfast" and more importantly "whats for lunch"?  The ten year old only eats chicken wraps, so the answer is the same.  I make him a chicken wrap for breakfast (chicken, lettuce, ranch dressing) and another for lunch.  throw in some sunchips, grapes and a CapriSun and *POOF* done. 

The six year old is a little pickier.  Bologna (NOT boloney!!) thick cut on wheat bread with the crusts cut off. Eight grapes.  ("we only have 15 minutes to eat, mom.  I can't eat more than 8") a cheese stick and her waterbottle with 12 ice cubes and no water. ("otherwise they melt") . Phew.  Done.

We ride the three quarters of a mile to school on our bikes and are welcomed by all the other haggard moms and dads who have just performed this routine at their own homes.  We talk about what we're going to do today...my own list includes de-cluttering my bedroom and the master bath, a job which hasn't been done since we moved in 12 years ago....mowing the lawn....baking french bread (recipe to follow tomorrow) because the kids are spoiled and it's spaghetti night.....and doing laundry (hung on the clothesline outside for maximum happiness)....

or maybe I'll just take a NAP.